Today is a much tougher day than I expected it to be. It has nothing to do with chemotherapy or side effects etc, but just the mental state of mind. Since I checked into this room, the goal was set to complete these 6 days of high dose chemo. Being sincerely thankful to have completed this without much suffering, so what NOW!
Today went from the completion of something to everything or nothing. There are no more set dates after I receive the bone marrow on day after tomorrow. How long I will be in here all depends on my immune system, i.e. white blood cells, neutrophil counts etc.
Now I finally understand why the day I will receive my bone marrow is Day 0. Cos it can just keep counting, the count down part was easy.
This morning I was told the chemo I went through will only affect my counts by the middle of next week, they will begin to fall then before they start building up again.
I’d say to mental challenge of the BMT only begins on Saturday and I think much patience and ZEN would be needed in the formula.
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