It seems like I have not written anything about how this experience would change the rest of my life. Now that I am officially scientifically medically proven well, I can move on!
In the past year, many people came up to me and said “This must have changed your relationship with your parents!” When I first heard this, I had a big ?. Have they watched too many movies? Or was it just one of the “common” lines for this occasion? I am sure they were concerned. However, their tone when saying it changed the line to “This must have IMPROVED your relationship with your parents.” To be honest, all 3 of us are pretty straight forward people. We’ve always had trust and respect towards each other. Apart from the fact we faced and experienced this “adventure” together and made us realise that just by being and living healthy it doesn’t mean there won’t be “surprises”. Ok I must admit there was a time at the beginning when I was worried how much time I had left. It’s a very scary thought and as much as I tried to be positive “Fear” does have its force to take over from time to time and create negative thoughts. Then there would be a war in my head to try to get my mind back from fear and concentrate on the good.
So how would this change the way I am in the future? I believe one blog may not be enough to say it all. I am sure this experience will affect very much they way I pick my options and make my decisions, especially when such decisions’ outcomes concern my own personal life – Career and Love. It’s a fact I haven’t had a “normal” relationship since I opened Sphere Café, the hours are so long and whenever I had the chance I would get myself out of MC. What many people didn’t know was that, it doesn’t mean I am not working and I am enjoying myself when they don’t see me at the café! My face rarely tells, people around me always think everything is perfect. All of this about me is going to change. I am not sure how yet. This experience has enlightened me somehow indirectly, now that I have been proven recovered “scientifically” I concentrate on improving the well-being of my mind and heart.
I’ve recently met someone. I want to discover, want to find out more about her. I haven’t had this feeling in a long time, and now having it I am enjoying it because I actually miss it. What have I done to myself the past years? Where have I hidden myself? I am writing about this, telling the whole world. I remember how much I enjoyed being secretive and mysterious the past 30 years, is this what part of the Lymphoma experience is about? Am I learning from the experience? Is it actually ok to show emotions? Am I evolving?
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